So I might be an ass...

I can’t believe we lost that one! What a load of crap… how are you suppose to win a game when the refs are blind, dumb and Philly fans? Shit… just plain shit! I let out a groan as I pulled into the driveway, slamming the SUV into park and hoping out. I kicked the door shut behind me, grumbling my way up the walk as I shook my head. Bullshit… straight bullshit… UGH I HATE YOU PHILLY!!! I lifted my face up and cursed the heavens as I shook my hands in a threatening manner.

I pushed the door open, slamming that too; completely forgetting that Sidney and Jordan were still with me. “Ugh, you gonna be ok Flower?”

I spun around, my eyes locking in on Jordan. “Yah… sorry… forgot you were there…”

“I think you just need to go release some stress… get laid.” Sidney groaned at Jordan’s words.

“Sex is not the solution for everything you know?” He snapped back, shaking his head as he sat down on the living room couch.

“He only says that cause he’s not getting laid.” Jordan laughed, winking at me.

“Agreed… now if you don’t mind… there’s only one person who’s gonna make me feel better… and it’s not one of you idiots.” I laughed as I headed up the stairs, looking for Abby.
I walked up the stairs, trying to figure out where in the world she could be. I knew she was home; the door hadn’t been locked - so she had to be here somewhere. I walked into the bedroom to see Cooper lying outside the bathroom; whimpering softly. “Shoo Coop…” I said, tapping him lightly with my foot as I pulled the door open.
I gasped softly as I saw Abby lying on the cool tile by the toilet. No… “Baby...” I whispered, causing her to give me a weak smile. “Are you ok?”
I sat down on the ground next to her; my heart hammering into my chest. Please, please be the flu… “Is it the flu?” I reached out, taking her face in my hands as she shook her head. “Your not warm.” Sighing, I released her face and looked away. “You were doing so good, Abby.” She wasn’t even bothering to hide it anymore… she didn’t even care enough to pretend she was trying.

“This wasn't my choice, Marc. It's involuntary I swear. It's not just today either. Nothing's staying down. I don't feel sick... not all day anyways. Just-” I glanced down at her hand, grasping mine.

“Abby, please... don't lie to me.” I snarled, pulling myself out of her hold and standing up. “I think... I think you should go to Braeden's tonight... I just... I can't Abby... Not again.” Not again. How could she? I would do anything for her, give her anything, do anything she asked… she can’t even try… can’t even TRY for me. I can’t do it… I can’t watch her waste away again; I won’t.

“Marc!” She whined, getting up and stumbling after me. “Marc... It's not what you think!” I flew around the corner, slamming shoulder into Sidney as I ran down the stairs; tears flowing freely down my face.



“Just leave me alone Abby… stop calling.” I set the phone back on the hook, turning around and receiving a stern look from Kris.

“Are you sure you’re not over-reacting man?” I growled at him, causing him to step back.

“I am not over-fucking-reacting Kris!” I spat, taking a step towards him. “She said she would get better for me… she can’t even try… doesn’t even care enough to fucking try!” I shook my head, turning away from him. “I love her… more than anything… anything!” I spun back around, grabbing his shirt in my hands and hauling him toward me. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to sit by and watch the woman that you love waste away? Do you have any idea what it’s like to feel completely helpless because there’s nothing you can do about it? Do you have any idea what it’s like to have her tell you she’ll try… agree to marry you and then decide that you’re not even WORTH the trouble?” I stared him directly in the eyes; waves of anger and frustration rolling off of me. “Well… do you?”

He shook his head, eyes wide. “No…” He answered softly.

“No. You don’t. So don’t fucking come in to my house and tell me how I should be acting.”

“Enough Flower… come on man, just calm down.” I exhaled loudly, releasing Kris and turning to face Max.

I held my hands out at my side. Signalling for him to bring it on; I was in the mood wear punching someone - anyone - seemed like a good idea. I’d never been this angry before; this desperate, this helpless.
I was being an asshole, I knew it, but I didn’t care. Abby was everything to me and as much as it was killing me to be apart from her; I just couldn’t watch her do this again... it was my fault that she had started throwing up again, and my fault that she couldn't get better.
The phone rang, and I snapped my head at it; Abby’s number flashing on the caller ID. I wanted to ignore it and slam my fist into something, but I walked over; grabbing it off the wall. “Don't you fucking dare hang up the phone Frenchie!”

“What do you want?” I spat, really not in the mood to talk to Braeden. “Not even gonna put her back in the program? Having fun enabling her disease?”

“Fuck you, man! I've been watching her all day!”

“Yah I bet… I‘m not a fucking idiot dude. You can watch her all you want, doesn‘t mean she‘s eating.”

“She fucking has eaten!”

“She throw it up yet?”

“Not yet…” I heard him curse himself for the; causing a bitter smile to appear on my lips. “No.” He reiterated, more firmly.

“So she’s eating and not throwing up anymore?” I felt my temper dare to diminish slightly. “Does she look any better then?”

“Actually she looks exhausted.”

I groaned to myself. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t this be easy? I just needed someone to tell me what the right thing to do was. My heart was screaming at me to wrap her in my arms and help her figure this out; my mind was screaming at me to hang up. I knew what I had to do though; I couldn’t help Abby. I had tried - honestly tried - and she’d ended up even worse. “I can’t help her man, you need to take her back to the hospital.”

“Well, if you can't help her Marc-Andre... Then stay away from her. I'll help her…” He snapped back, causing the anger to flare in me once away.

“In case you haven’t noticed, that’s what I’ve been doing.”

“Yah well Fuck you, Man. Not even staying with your fiancée while she's sick. Nice.”



“Look Flower, I get it, I do. I know that you think you’re the only one that’s effected by this… but it’s hard on Dani too…” I nodded silently as Kris sat across from me, trying to talk me out of my funk. “She says that Abby’s eating, lots… that she’s not making herself throw up… she just… is.” He shrugged his shoulder’s look up at me.

“No fever… no sickness… but she’s sick. Sounds like her eating disorder Kris.” He shrugged again. "The doctor said that they get really good at hiding it..."

“Dani’s taking her to the hospital this evening if it doesn’t stop… you wanna come?”

“No. I think I’d be the last person she wants to see… besides, what good would it do?” No, I wasn't going to the hospital, not a chance.



“Hi Marc…” I recognized the voice as soon as I heard it; but I was confused as to why Abby’s doctor would be calling me.

“I know that it’s getting late but, I can’t get a hold of Abby and she missed our meeting tonight. We were suppose to get together and go over her progress… she didn’t show up though.”

I shook my head and exhaled sadly. “Abby’s back living with her brother again. I found her throwing up in the bathroom… I think she’s starving herself again.”

The doctor sighed from the other side of the phone. “Alright, thank you Marc, I have her brother’s number here… I’ll give it a try.”

I was about to hang up when something clicked. “Hey! I think her friend was worried about her, she might actually be in the hospital now…”

“Oh, alright well… I’ll give them a call first. Thank you, Marc.”

We said goodbye and I hung up; feeling worse and worse about myself with every passing minute. I sighed and smacked my forehead against the wall. Looks like I’m going to the hosptial… I groaned as I pushed myself off the wall and headed for the front door. I tugged on a jacket out of the front closet and headed out to the SUV, shaking my head the whole way.



“What the fuck is he doing here?” I groaned and I heard Braeden’s voice rise above the mumbles of the waiting room.

“We invited him! Abby wants him here-” I gave Dani a small ‘thank you’ smile, before moving to sit next to Kris.

“Hold it right there!” I stopped walking and turned around to face Braeden.

“What?” I spat, taking a step towards him; not in the mood for this at all. “I came here to talk to Abby… do you know that she missed her meeting with the doctor today?”

“Do you know, I don’t give a shit why you’re here?” I took one last look over my shoulder - towards the direction of Abby’s room - before I felt Brae close the distance between us.
I turned back around just in time to see him aim a punch at my face. I turned slightly; just enough to partially dodge him - still feeling the sting from where his fist grazed my face.
I took a step back, dodging another shot from him before I threw my weight forward, hitting him square in the jaw.
He grabbed onto my shirt and I grabbed on to him; both of us battering at the other one with our free hands.

He shoved me downward, and I landed hard on my back; his weight on top of me. I nailed him three more times in the face before he got me back; connecting with my face hard, blood starting to pool in my mouth. I saw Kris jump up; grabbing onto Brae’s shoulders and trying to tug him up; I brought my elbow up and nailed him once more before he fell back down on top of me. “What are you doing?!” I heard Abby shriek.
I turned, distracted enough by her presence, that I opened myself up for another jab in the face. “Get OFF of him Braeden!!” She screamed, running at us and grabbing onto his shoulder’s tugging with Kris.

“Why should I? He broke your heart!”

“Well, I’m about to break his…“ She answered slowly, causing him to look up at her. This time when they tugged, Brae allowed himself to be moved off me; giving me one last glare before taking off down the hallway. I groaned as I sat up; feeling a sharp pain shooting through my chest and face. “Oh Marc…” She sighed, tears in her eyes as I stood up in front of her.

“I’m fine…” I started to say, bringing my hand up to my face as I felt blood starting to run out my mouth. “Ugh… let’s go out here.” I was already getting dirty looks from the nearby nurses, the last thing I needed was to get blood everywhere too.

She held onto my arm as I walked quickly down the hallway towards the exit; my hand still below my face - catching the drops of blood.
I sighed once we hit the cool air; turning around to face Abby. “The doctor called today… said that you missed your meeting-”

“Marc… just listen to me, I can explain everything…” I turned around to face her; my anger melting away as soon as I saw her standing there, shivering - looking so tiny and vulnerable. I groaned as I watch her lick her lips. I wanted to kiss her, badly; but there was so much blood - everywhere.
I started trying to wipe my face off on my sleeve; spitting a few mouthfuls of blood onto the ground. “Are you sure you don’t need stitches or something?”

“Yah I’m fine… I just… never mind…” I looked back up at her, waiting for her to explain… something to me; tell me why she was going to break my heart…

“Alright… I know I’ve been sick lately, but I swear it’s not what you think…” She took a deep breath before continuing. “God, there are so many things that I need to tell you - say to you - but I don’t even know where to start...” She shook her head sadly, causing me to take a step towards her; pulling her against me.

“Abby, I’m so sorry… I’m sorry for being an ass… I just thought. I just thought that you were sick again… I thought… I don’t want you to be sick. I don’t want to loose you. I love you… can you believe that still?” I held my breath as she began to sob against my chest.

“I love you too Marc…” I looked down at her and exhaled slowly, whatever she wanted to tell me was bad. “Marc… I need to postpone the wedding.” I bit my lip as I stared at her. That had been my original plan, but there was something about hearing it on her lips that crushed my heart. I nodded slowly, trying to act like it didn’t matter; but apparently I sucked at acting. “I’m so sorry… I love you, that’s got nothing to do with this. I want to be with you; but… there’s too much going on right now. The eating issues, the stress of the wedding… now… this.” She held her hands out to her side, sighing as she rested her head against my chest.

I had no idea what 'this' was, but it didn't matter. “It’s ok Abby… I understand. As long as you still want to marry me at some point… we’ll make it work.” The words poured out easily as I nodded along with them. They were all true. I loved Abby with my whole heart, regardless of whether or not she was my wife; I didn’t need a piece of paper to prove that she was the greatest woman in the world - not when I had her in my arms.
In my arms - a places I would never be dumb enough to let her leave again.

“You’re really ok with it?”

I grinned, cupping her face in my hands; forcing her to look up at me. “I love you babe… as long as you forgive me for being an ass, then I’m ok with everything.”
She flashed me a smile, pulling me down until my lips were on hers. I kissed her gently; trying to keep as much blood off of her as possible.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!! I watch you cry over him for days, now all of a sudden everything’s peachy because he says he loves you? He abandoned you when you were sick Abby!”

I stiffened as I felt Brae come up behind me. He grabbed onto me and spun me around; cocking his hand back. I made no move to defend myself - any anger or desire I had for a fight was gone - I just wanted to hold Abby. “Brae, do not touch him. He‘s not a fighter, and you‘re seriously going to hurt him if you don‘t stop.” She warned, moving until she was standing beside me.

“And why do I care if I ‘seriously’ hurt him?” He spat, never taking his eyes from me.

“Maybe you don’t…” Abby said slowly, timidly. “But do you really want your niece or nephew to come into thos world without a father?”