In Too Far

I smiled to myself as I jogged up the walk towards the front door, a vase of flowers in hand. It was a great feeling - waking up beside someone again; even more incredible that it was Aberleigh.
I had laid awake for a long time, watching her sleep. I can’t believe that she had agreed to stay the night! She was such a hard girl to read sometimes, but she had allowed me to warp my arms around her, sleep beside her.
“Abby?” I called as I opened the door - praying she was still here. I took a few steps in before I saw her, smirking at me from the kitchen. “Hey! I got you the-” the words caught in my throat as Vero walked around the corner. “Vero?” I breathed out as the my hands went numb; vase falling to the floor. “Wha… what are you doing here?”

She gave me a small smile as she moved towards me, stepping around the broken glass. “I was worried about you, Cherie…”

I pushed my hand against the wall for support, as my body threatened to cease function. “I-” I started, shaking my head, unable to look away for her. My mind was rushing in a million directions but I couldn’t form a single word. Vero, Vero… I felt my body ache as I stared at her, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away; I was convinced she would disappear if I did.
“Well…” She began, as her eyes continued to pierce into me. She looked put-out, her beautiful face twisted in anger. “I came to tell you that I was leaving Pittsburgh. I’m moving back home… I wanted to tell you that I’m seeing someone new. I was scared you’d be even more upset if you heard it from someone else but… apparently you wouldn’t care either way.” She finished coolly, crossing her arms over her chest.
I heard her words but I couldn’t make sense of them; ‘seeing someone new’ was the only thing that stuck out. I felt the weight of the walls crush down on top of me as I fought for air. “How could you Marc? In our home? Our home!” She relaxed her arms and took another step towards me. “I must admit I expected you to be a lot different, I expected this to be hard for you… you broke my heart but you don’t even care. How many others have there been?” She jabbed a finger into my chest. “How many!?”

“None.” I managed to choke out. “None… never, only you.” A sob broke out from me and I grabbed her hand, pulling her closer to me as I wrapped my free arm around her. I nuzzled my face into her neck.

“Do you love me, Marc?” I nodded as I gripped onto her tighter, refusing to let her move away from me. “Do you love your new girlfriend?”

I lifted my face up, staring into the eyes that had haunted me for so long. “She- she’s not my girlfriend… no. She works for Mario… she works at Mellon…” I didn’t even realize that I was half-lying; Vero’s sudden reappearance had caused me to forget everything that had happened since she left. I shook my head again, reaffirming my denial.

“Prove it.” She said simply, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Prove that you still love me, Marc. Show me.”

And then her lips were on mine, desperately; and she surrounded me, taking over every other sense. I scooped her up in my arms and bolted towards the bedroom, our bedroom, in record time.
I set her down on her feet once we reached the plush carpet, pulling her shirt up over her head. I discarded my own, careful to keep my lips on her as much as possible; walking forwards to the bed, leading her.
She flopped down backwards and I pulled her jeans down, leaning in to kiss her thigh as I did so. I bent down and pulled off my gym shorts; pressing down on top of her body as I kicked them aside.

My mouth found hers again as we began to move together; but it wasn’t the same.
With Vero it had always been about love, bliss, happiness. She didn’t belong to me anymore; she belongs to someone else. I grunted in denial as I pressed into her harder.
I watched her underneath me, until I couldn’t look any more. I hung my head and let out a disgruntled groan; not only did she not belong to me, but I didn’t belong to her anymore either.
This is wrong, all wrong… what have I done to Aberleigh? I began to slow my momentum as Vero climaxed around me, clutching me closer.

After another few second I pulled out, ignoring the part of my body that was screaming at me to continue; to finish, to prove to her that this was the way it was suppose to be, but I couldn’t.
She hardly noticed as she smiled up at me; a triumphant smile spreading across her perfect face as my eyes traveled down her body. “You do still love me…” She sighed, standing up and wrapping her arms around my neck. She kissed me again and I kissed her back; before heading into the bathroom.
I heard the sound of rustling clothing as she got dressed; “I‘ll be in Pittsburgh for two more days Marc… when you‘re ready to talk about us again“. When I didn’t answer I heard her head down the stairs, then out the front door.

I had no desire to chase after her, not when she was leaving to go to someone else. She wasn’t my Vero anymore, no matter how badly I wanted her to be. I sighed in frustration as I tried to replay my last minutes with Aberleigh.


I sat, full clothed, downstairs on the couch; with my cell phone in my hands. I need to call Aberleigh, needed to hear her voice, reaffirm all the things that I had come to learn the night before. How did I let this happen? I glanced around the room; broken vase and flowers on the floor, her jersey still beside me, where she left it.
The whole thing felt out of body; the rumpled sheets upstairs were the only proof that Vero had really been here.
I couldn’t even remember Aberleigh being here once I saw Vero, I couldn’t even remember her leaving anymore. I sighed and dialed her number; please God, answer. “Aberleigh Michael’s residence.” A man said into the phone.

“Yah, hi… is Abby there?”

After a short pause her brother responded, “Who’s this?”

“Umm… Marc-Andre, I’m a friend of-”

“Yah, some friend. Listen man, stay the hell away from my sister. I mean it.” He spat, before hanging up. Damnit! What now?


Of course! I ran outside to my SUV and drove full speed to the rink; the only place she would be. Aberleigh, she would push herself into work, this I knew for sure.
I raced through the hall and up the stairs to her office; throwing the door open and looking around, she wasn’t here.
I had left the optional practice earlier than the other guys; to get home to Aberleigh… please, please, still be here Max… I prayed silently as I raced down the stairs.

I threw open the door to the locker room to see Sidney sitting with Aberleigh, going over press stuff. I didn’t care that Sidney was there. “Aberleigh… I’m so sorry.” She glanced up at me, her face filling with pain as Sidney looked back and forth between us - obviously at a loss as to what was happening. “Aberleigh please… please talk to me.”
Hot tears were flowing over my face but I didn’t care. The guilt of what I had just done to her was threatening to crush me from the inside.

“It’s ok Marc…” She said in a voice that told me it was anything but ok, “At least I saw what this will be like. Who you'll pick… it’s better for me to know it now Marc, before we got in too far.”

“I am in too far… Abby… please. I pick you.” She looked up at me and I face the pain etched clearly in her eyes.

I walked towards her, dropping down in front of her on my knees, “Marc, don’t-” She started but I reached up and gently grabbed her face in my palms.

“I’m so sorry Abby. Please believe me, I need you… I need to be with you.” I was pleading, sincerely; my feelings for Aberleigh pouring out of me like a flood. I couldn’t put words to what I had just done with Vero but it didn’t seem to matter. I needed, beyond reason, to make sure Aberleigh wouldn’t leave me; I couldn’t let her go.

“You should give him a chance…” Sidney said, reminding me of his presence. I didn’t let go of her face but her eyes moved towards him slightly and I felt her sigh. “Aberleigh, they were together for a long time so… I’m not sure what happened but - he’s here now. He came here to find you.”

“I know that he’s had a hard-”

“No. You don’t.” Sidney said and I turned towards him for the first time, watching him as he looked at me; pitifully. “You have no idea what this has been like for him… you didn’t know him before; you don‘t understand that change. The fact that he’s here Aberleigh… please listen to him; whatever he did, he’s sorry.”

As he spoke the rest of the boys began to file in; the talking died down as they all took in the scene before them. “Marc… the guys… they’re here.”

“I don’t care.” I said simply, my eyes bearing into her. “Please Abby, I won’t loose you. I know now… I know it’s going to be hard but… she’s not where my heart is anymore.” She stared at me and I watched her emotional barrier begin to break; the tears started to fall. I stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the dressing room; searching for more privacy. I couldn’t care less that people saw me like this, but I was sure Aberleigh wouldn’t feel the same way.

The door closed behind us and I took a few steps down the hall, then around a corner; into a deserted hall. “Marc… I thought- you said…” She shook her head, unable to get out what she was trying to say, but I knew.

“I said that I liked you, and I do… so much. God! I’m an idiot I know… I just… I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened I just…I didn’t expect her to- it won’t happen again. Ever.”

She looked away from me as I pulled her against me. I thought she was going to shove me away, but she didn’t. She began to sob; the motion rocking her body as she wrapped her arms around me. “Don’t… don’t ever do that to me again… please.” She said softly as she clung to me. I shook my head.

“Never Abby, I promise.” I squeezed her tighter, taking a deep breath before I moved back a step. “Abby…” She looked up at me; the reminisce of tears still sitting on her delicate cheeks.
I brushed them away with my thumbs as I tilted her face towards me. This time there was no hesitation as I brought my lips down to meet hers; almost instantly I felt sparks jolt through me.
I felt my pulse quicken as I brought her in closer and gently opened her mouth with my tongue.
I kissed her until I felt my body loosing control; not the right place Marc… I sighed as I pulled my face away a few inches.

“Could we try this again… movies at my place?” I asked with a husky voice as she stared up at me.

I was terrified she’d turn me down, but a mischievous grin spread across her face. “Only if you promise to change the locks.”

“Anything for you.” I laughed as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, leading her outside.
I need to tell her… I thought as we reached the doors, pushing them open and continuing towards my SUV. Like always I pulled open her door and helped her in, before heading over to the driver’s side.
I climbed in, prepared to warn her about what had happened earlier; but when I saw her face I couldn’t.
She was glowing as she sat next to me, smiling out into the darkness. I reached over and put my hand on the back of her neck, massaging her gently with my thumb.
“Abby, I need…” I started, trying to figure out how to tell her what I’d done. She looked over at me, leaning over to rest her hand on my knee, squeezing it gently.

“You need what?” She asked lightly, staring into my eyes.

My mind was ordering me to tell her, it was unfair to leave her in the dark; but I couldn’t. Seeing her happy, contented… not telling her won’t be the worse thing I’ve done tonight. I sighed as I smiled at her. “You… I need you.”
I leaned over, brushing her lips gently with my own; basking in the feeling of her while she pulled me closer.
Not now, not tonight… I convinced myself; trying to push the guilt away, as held on to her tighter.