Shame on Me

Aberleigh-

“You're sure you want to go this thing?” Braeden questioned me as I curled my naturally straight hair with my flat iron. “I thought you hated these people.”

“No...” I laughed taking my grandmother's antique pearl hair pins and pinning back my thick strands. “I hate the messes they get into and the work that results from that. But I never hate them.” I glanced at the mirror quickly; make-up was done the best it was going to get, hair was up. Now for the dress. Braeden followed me into my room, turning his back as I slipped off my robe and slipped on the red dress Marc bought me. It fit like a glove, with no problems... Except me.. And how my stomach paunched out, and how my butt was way too big. How on Earth could one person make a dress this gorgeous that ugly?

“You're sure you want to go with him?” Braeden asked wearily. “What if something happens?” I shook my head at him as I motioned for him to do up the top of my zipper.

“What could happen, Brae?” I shooed him downstairs as someone knocked on the door. “Be nice!” I yelled down to him. The last thing I needed was Braeden screwing this up for me. I turned back to my closet searching for my heels I had planned on wearing. There they are.. I snatched them off the floor and headed downstairs with them in my hand. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and Braeden came over to hold me up as I put on my shoes. I smiled up at him, slipping them on easily, bringing my total height to a giant 5'6”. Ahh, heels. A vertically challenged woman's best friend. “Don't wait up, Brae. Actually... Go out. Meet a girl.” I whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek. “Bye.. Love you.”

“Love you too,” he whispered back as I wiped my brick red lipstick off of his cheek. “Be safe.”

“You too.” I winked before turning towards Marc for the first time. He was dressed in a plain black suit, which I've seen him in before, but tonight... he was... magnetizing. I felt him stare at me as I walked closer to him. Oh crap... I knew it! I look horrible! No time to change now...

“Ready to go?” He nodded after exhaling loudly. Maybe Braeden was right... Maybe I shouldn't go.. He must be so embarrassed of me. I took his hand hesitantly, and he gave mine a quick reassuring squeeze. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad...



It was bad... It was worse than I imagined it would be, which was bad to begin with. The only thing that made it bearable was being there with him. The cameras when we first got there were overwhelming. I'd always gotten there before the cameras in the past, never having to experience this. I smiled up at him as he held my hand tightly, and let me hold onto his arm with my free hand, trying desperately to hide myself from the cameras.

I stayed close to Marc and the guys all night, having no one else really to talk to. I was in this strange limbo. I wasn't working the event, Sara taking over for me for the evening, but I didn't belong with the girlfriends. I really didn't belong with the girlfriends, I sighed as they sent yet another wave of glares my way.

I sat between Max and Kris as Marc went up for his speech, glad I had other people to be around.

Finally Marc took my hand gently and led me out of the ballroom. I smiled gratefully at him as we headed towards his house. Once there I quickly made my way to the couch, collapsing on it and kicking off my heels.

“That wasn't so bad...” I sighed pulling the pins out of my hair, relieving some of the pressure on my scalp. I look over at him as he nodded slowly with a strained expression on his face. “Marc, are you ok? You've been really quiet...” He laughed gently. Honestly it was the laugh that freaked me out. Was he ok? He pulled off his jacket and tie before tossing them on a chair away from me.

“Would you believe me if I said, I can't function with you in that dress?” I knew it! I glanced down quickly seeing my stomach roll protruding. Gross. I pulled a pillow in front of me to hide it. Biting my cheek to keep from crying. And I had gotten my hopes up too...

“That bad?” I spoke under my breath picking at the pillow's fabric, staring at it.

“I've been trying to keep my mind busy so I wouldn't pull it off you actually...” I continued to stare and pick at the pillow as I felt him sit next to me on the couch. He was just trying to make me feel better. He gently pulled the pillow out of my hands and tossed it away from us, causing me to look up at his eyes. My breath caught at the passion I saw in them. My breath released in a happy sigh as he pulled me gently to him, capturing my lips with his own soft pillows. I squealed lightly into the kiss as he wrapped his free arm around me and pulled me forcefully onto his lap. I straddled him the best I could in the confines of my dress; sighing as his hand trailed up the backs of my legs, ending on my thighs. He pulled away from my lips as I groaned in protest before he attacked my neck and collarbone. Oh God! I moaned moving my head away from where he was causing all sorts of sensations I hadn't felt in years.

I felt my heart race as he pulled away slowly. Don't stop! My body screamed as it raged out of control. I sighed softly trying to get my breathing under control as he spun me around so I was sitting on his lap, my face nuzzled into his neck. I was sure he could hear my heart pound out of control as my breathing slowly returned to normal. I could feel him under me as we both tried to distract ourselves from what just happened. Did I want more to happen? I knew I did... But was I ready now? I took a deep breath, breathing in his scent, more musky than usual; that was turning me on more than anything.

I smiled gently as he kissed the top of my head.

“I'm gonna go hop in the shower alright?” He questioned, I nodded against him, not moving, not wanting to move. “I have gym shorts and shirts in my room so... help yourself to anything.” He gently placed me next to him on the couch. “I'll be right back.” He smiled at me before heading upstairs. I sat on the couch for a moment longer. I knew I wanted him. It was obvious he wanted me. But maybe tonight wasn't it. I wanted it to be perfect with guy and I always found sex too soon was never a good thing.

I slowly climbed the stairs to the room I found myself in just days before. I smiled as I saw a drawer left open for me, shorts and t-shirts neatly folded in it. I tried on a pair of shorts over my dress and watched it fall to the floor instantly. Just a shirt it is... I struggled for a moment to grab the top of my zipper, before being able to unzip myself and pull off the dress carefully and laying it on a chair in the corner of the room. I pulled a shirt over my head, sighing gratefully as it grazed my thighs about midway.

I wandered out of the room to find the other bathroom, quickly washing my face before climbing into his plush bed. Oh how I loved his bed. I turned his TV on and began to flip through the channels as he finally came back into the room, draped in only a towel. I held my breath as I watched him more than the TV in front of me. He truly was gorgeous. I glanced towards the phone as it rang next to me, looking back over at him he nodded gently. I picked it up slowly, I'd never answered a boyfriend's phone before.

“Hello?” I didn't hear anything for a few seconds thinking it might be a prank call, a choked sigh finally broke through the silence before a voice followed.

“Abbs...” Max? Why I was Max calling? “Kris...” His voice caught in his throat. “Abbs...” He cleared his throat loudly before continuing. “There... there was an accident.” I dropped the remote and covered my mouth with my hand as my jaw dropped in shock. No... NO! Not Kris... He was becoming a close friend on the team. The only one I felt truly comfortable around, minus Marc. “We... We were driving home.. And... Abbs, it's bad...” He sighed softly.

“Where is he, Max?” I finally managed to squeak out. I shook my head slightly slipping easily into business Aberleigh. I needed to be her if I was going to get this team through this.

“Allegheny Gen.” He sighed before I could hear sobbing break through his thick walls. I jumped off the bed and started gathering up everything I brought with me. None of this was going to work for going to a hospital.

“We're on our way, Max.” I assured him nodding swiftly. “Just hold on.” I hung up the phone swiftly and ran into Marc's bathroom to slide my dress on again, I could go in a t-shirt with no pants. I emerged after a minute and turned to Marc slowly. “Can you zip me?” I asked nervously.

“Abby, what's going on?” I shook my head feeling business Aberleigh slip. “Aberleigh...” He sighed taking two large steps and pulling me into a fierce hug. I broke down on his chest, sobs racking my body. “What's wrong? What did Max say?” He whispered into my hair, rubbing my back gently.

“Kris was in an accident...” I whispered against him. I felt him stiffen so I was sure he heard.

“Is he...?” He let the question trail off as he glance down at me unsure as to what to say.

“I don't know... Max said it was bad. We have to go...” He nodded searching around for a shirt. He grabbed a random one out of the drawer before grabbing my hand and half running down the stairs. I pulled him to a stop at the bottom of the stairs and studied him quietly. “Marc... Maybe you should let me drive.” He had a panicked look in his eyes, like he needed to be there five seconds ago. He shot me a look I couldn't decipher. “We can't do anyone any good if we're in an accident as well.” I soothed, business me was back, I knew I'd stay like this until the problem was over. He stood there for a moment as his face turned contemplative.

“You're right...” He sighed hand me the keys as I slipped on my heels and we hurried out of the door.

Once I had parked the SUV in the parking of Allegheny Hospital we both jumped out and basically ran inside. Marc headed directly for the front desk and asked where his friend was. The nurse having recognized him gave us directions to the ICU and his room number. Marc turned to me, a pained expression on his face, I held my hand out to him. He took it tightly and we walked slowly towards the elevator and into the frenzy that is an ICU unit.

I found Max, TK, Jordan and Sidney sitting in the waiting room. Sidney was pacing the length of the room back and forth, back and forth. Jordan sat perfectly still in one of the small chairs. Under any other circumstances I probably would have chuckled at the sight of such a large man on such a small chair. TK was sitting next to Max. Max... My eyes finally trailed to him, his leg bouncing nervously, I could only see part of his face as he stared straight ahead his hands in fists at his mouth, almost like he was praying. I let go of Marc's hand with a gently squeeze before sitting next to Jordan, directly across from Max.

I looked up at him and my breath caught in my throat. The left side of his face was a mess. A black eye, slowly swelling, and deep red scratches led down his cheek and to his mouth. His left arm was badly bruised and I could see that his left pant leg was pretty ripped up.

“Max...” I asked gently causing him to focus on me. “I need to know what happened...” He sighed gently as I felt Marc sit on the other side of me placing a hand on my knee.

“I was drunk.. So I gave Kris the keys. Kid's like a walking designated driver...” Jordan chuckled next to me, causing a small smile to play on my own lips, not taking my eyes off of Max. “It was pretty quiet.. We left later than a lot of people...” He shrugged, I could see his tears well up in his eyes, but I could also see him struggle with not letting them fall. “There was someone driving drunk... He... He ran a red light...” I heard Marc inhale sharply and squeeze my knee tighter. I turned to look at him and saw the anger and pain seethe out of his eyes.

“Can we go and see him?” I asked gently. Jordan nodded slowly.

“He's in the third door on the right.” He sighed. “Heather and Amanda should be coming back right away.” I nodded and looked over at Marc-Andre.

“Ready...?” He sighed and stood slowly with me as he took my hand again, allowing me to lead him down the hallway. We passed Heather and Amanda in the hall and they both paused to hug both of us. Amazing how bad situations brought people together. Marc paused slightly outside of his room before I lead us both in.

Kris looked so small on the hospital bed. His face battered and covered in dried blood, his left arm in a cast against his side. I took on of the two seats next to his bed. “Why you, Kris...?” I asked the silent room, moving a piece of blood covered hair off of his forehead. He looked so peaceful. Above the scrapes and bruises he looked like a small boy curled in for a nap. I felt Marc sob next to me. As I turned to look at him my heart broke. I pulled him easily into a tight embrace letting him pour out all of his emotions.



Two days later I found myself sitting on the small uncomfortable chair in Kris' room. The boys were in Toronto for a short road trip, and I promised them all I would stay with Kris, in case something happened. He was doing better. Slowly... He was awake more and they had moved him from ICU to just a regular acute care unit. I got work done as he slept and played cards or just talked when he was awake. I looked up from my binder to see him wide awake staring at the door.

“What's wrong, Kris?” My forehead furrowed in concern as I too moved my gaze to the door. There she was again looking gorgeous in just a plain t-shirt and skinny jeans. I looked down at my grubby jeans and Marc's t-shirt and felt out of place.

“What are you doing here?” She spat at me not waiting for my answer before flipping into French and moving to Kris' side. I stood slowly moving to get out of their way.

“Vero, be nice. She's a good girl.” Kris sighed as I shook my head.

“It's ok, Kris... I'll just go get something to eat.” I smiled slightly at him before leaving the room and making my way down to the cafeteria. I just couldn't be in the same room as her right now.

I found a quiet table in a corner and opened my binder in front of me. The press release for Kris was wrapped last night and now I had moved onto the minor hockey league Christmas Camp. The boys always loved this one and I have a great team of kids lined up too. I was so lost in my work I didn't even hear the chair across from me as she sat in it.

“I think we need to talk.” Her soft voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I glanced up at her.

“About?” I sighed closing my binder. I had a funny feeling I wasn't really going to like this conversation.

“The only thing we remotely have in common.” She sneered as she looked me up and down. “Well... for now.”

“Look, Vero...” I started sighing deeply. “I get that you were with Marc but that was a long time ago. We're happy together.”

“If you're so happy together why did he call me a week ago?” I stopped everything I was doing at stared up at her shocked. He called her? “Mmmhmm... Wanted to talk, or so the message said. When Amanda told me about poor Kris, I knew I had to come back. I figured Marc and I would get in our talk.” I shook my head sadly as she grinned victoriously. I couldn't compete with that. I closed my binder gathering everything up to make a quick escape. I didn't... I couldn't... I bit down on my lip to keep from crying. Damn him! Damn him for doing this to me twice! I scraped my chair back to leave before she spoke again. I had made about five steps from the table before she blurted the most awful thing I had ever had to hear. “He did tell you we slept together didn't he?” I turned to look at her slowly. “That day... The day I came over.... Best sex we ever had.” She smiled softly as I turned on my heel and took off as fast as I could out of the hospital doors.



I sat up in my small spare room that I had converted into a library, curled in an overstuffed armchair, staring at a picture Mr. Lemieux had giving me from the banquet. It was of me and Marc, it must have been taken while neither of us noticed. But it was my favourite picture... ever. We had our head bent towards each other, foreheads touching. The connection almost ooze out of the print. We looked like we belonged together.

“Aberleigh...” Braeden's voice came through the door softly. “Please... Come out of there... He's still here...” I sighed as I slid out of my chair and opened the door a crack.

“Tell him I'm not listening anymore.” I sighed moving to close the door again, he stopped me easily. “Braeden... Let the door go. I'm not seeing Max. I'm not seeing Marc, or Sid, or TK, or Jordan or Mario. I quit. I don't have to see them anymore. I go and see Kris when the boys are out of town. I don't want to see them. I'm done.”

“You don't mean that, Abby...” He sighed down at me.

“What's that phrase, Braeden?” He looked at me confused, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” He sighed as he allowed me to close the door on him. I could hear him put his fist and forehead on the door before speaking again.

“I still think you should talk to him, Aberleigh. Marc, I mean.” I stared at the door shocked. Really? Braeden wanted me to talk to Marc? “He's a good guy, Abby. And I think he really likes you.” I held my breath until I could hear footsteps on the stairs and the low rumblings of the two men in the living room.

Now what?